This is for all the would be brides out there who are planning what is usually billed as the most important day of a woman's life. forget childbirth, forget graduations or even the day your man proposed to you, this is THE most momentous occasion a woman will ever experience and the right sort of planning is necessary to ensure that there are no tears.
Prior to planning my own wedding I always wondered what the whole 'bridezilla' thing was all about. Ladies who were once the sweetest thing ever suddenly morph into downright monsters simply because the flowers they ordered came in the wrong shade of ivory or their groom refuses to agree to the first-dance song of their choice. I have to confess that this fabled bridezilla was me, in fact I am forever indebted to my close friends and family who put up with my downright unpleasant personality from the period of 4 months before to 1 day before my wedding day. If I could do things over, here's what I would have done slightly differently.
1. Take several deep breaths like 100 times a day. I remember feeling so tightly strung, needing to have everything my way, needing to control every aspect of the wedding. well guess what, on that day you're probably only going to care about your dress, your make-up, how comfortable your shoes are, your loved one's being present and the look on people's faces showing that they are having as much fun as you are!
2. Allow other people to contribute to your wedding, whether it be ideas, recommendations or even goods. Like it or not, a Nigerian wedding is largely a 'community' affair. Your parents, in-laws and even friends will have an opinion or two about what your dress should look like, about how expensive caterers are in Abuja and about what a reasonable distance is between the church and the reception venue. No, they do not think its their wedding, they are simply trying to help. so before you go snapping at people talking about 'I know what I am doing' remember that they are excited for you and simply want to share in the joys of planning your big day.
3 . This should really be number 1. Draw up a budget. Not just for the wedding, but for the post-wedding period stretching up to one year into the future. it does not make sense to spend all your money on the wedding and have nothing to live on afterwards. also make sure you have sorted out essentials such as where to live and. Car (if you do not already have these) , sort out the honeymoon too or at least a honeymoon suite for the first two days after the wedding so that you can feel pampered and rested in the next couple of days following the wedding and not have to worry about domestics such as cooking and cleaning at this point.
4.Reach out and thank your bridal train, parent-in-law , uncles and aunts and friends who contributed in any way to the wedding and planning of it. it is the right thing to do regardless of whether you feel up to it or not.Also try to go through your gifts and thank all your gifters. it shows appreciation and thoughtfulness also bear I mind that you are now duty-bound to return the favour and atleast attempt to attend the weddings of those who came for yours and/or send a present.
Finally , note that the fights with your fiancée will be inevitable. I used to scoff at people who said that the stress would be a lot around this period but believe me it will be and it always feels worse when you think you're the only person going through this. You're not! It's very usual but just remember not to sweat the small stuff, compromise a little and allow your fiancée's personality to come through in your decoration, cake, food options or whatever else he has in mind and do not be unnecessarily territorial, it's not only your wedding it's his too!
