so I fell in love

Love is not something I would recommend to anybody to do, be in or feel.Why? Because there is absolutely nothing to be gained from it. When its going well you end up acting stupid and out of character, ditching all your best friends and totally making another human the centre of your universe. When you fall out of it, it gets worse- you hate yourself, you hate the person and you fall into this deep black hole. You think you have recovered, you meet someone else but then ironically they remind you of the one you lost.

Love- I've never really believed in 'the one'. I believe there can be several 'ones' for everybody. As a matter of fact I have 3 , 4 or even 5 soulmates. The problem is that people tend to irritate me, or bore me or annoy me thus the minute I find someone who I can remotely go for 24 hours without wanting to punch the lights out of them, I feel like Christopher Columbus when he discovered America. The thing is though, I do not do commitment which is sort of a hinderance to the longevity of any budding feelings that may rear their heads between me and an intended. There's always something that holds me back. Once it was the age- he was 3 years younger. The other time it was his complexion- much too Igbo-coloured. More recently it is his location- miles and miles away from me. Are these genuine reasons why I havent settled down? Or just flimsy excuses to hide behind whilst I carry on with my bohemian, lone existence?

Love- people always ask other people whether they have been in love before but I always retort with 'what's love?' But now I know that when you are in love, you just know. Everything is perfect, I have less fights with my mother, I start to believe more in myself, I plan for my future and include him in it only to be brought crashing back to earth, fall through and land in hell. And I'm still mourning.

Love.