Friends stop you from making friends.....ponder that!

I have never been the most friendly of people. Synonyms used to describe me include 'stand-offish', 'snobbish', 'rude' so it kind of comes as a shock to me to realise I have quite a healthy number of friends. At every stage in my life and at work or school I always seem to make friends who , when they get close enough, end up thinking that I actually am the sh*t, the urine ...ah you get the drift. More recently though, to be specific, in my first year at university I made more friends within the months of September and October than probably in all my life.
It all started in my first week.



On my first day at Queen Mary, University of London I met someone on the train to my 'get acquainted with the library' event who revealed quite earnestly to me that it had been/was her first day at Imperial College to which I replied enthusiastically: "me too!" cue nervous first meeting, shared experience laughter. She was the first person I met in the university network and the dominoes just kept falling.


In quick succession I met 5 girls at Queen Mary who ended up being my best friends for the entire 3 years at university second to none and who in no particular order I proceeded to get not-the-best first year grades with, get banned from the library and get embroiled in quick fire correspondence with the head of the law library with, run down the clubhouse formerly known as Establishment with (everytime missing the one o' clock free entry curfew and having to pay £15 each) with, drink all night with and turn up at my part time job drunk(alone).....ah fun times. In the midst of all of this I was so cocooned by this close knit blanket that I hardly ever had a solo moment. Even going to the bathroom we would be 3 or 4 at the same time in our loud Nigerian accents causing a stir and generally being very intimidating to would-be joiners to the crew.Ahhh, fun times.



Fast-forward 5 years and I'm back in the university system trying to get an LLM in far away Nottingham. Okay it's less than 2 hours away from London but the life I'm living couldn't be more different from what I remember of my heady 'uni' days or even my days at law school where 3 of my above mentioned besties came with me to wreak an even higher degree of havoc on Bwari society. Yes, I am now one of those people who turns up at the supermarket alone and buys one apple, one banana and 6 eggs -yes, one of those people who I used to look upon with pity and wonder how they could carry on with life without even a shadow. But the plus side is I actually have time to prepare for seminars and (gasp) contribute to every single class without a friend of mine sniggering in the background saying under their breath 'allow it, and allow those who have sense to talk' or passing me notes for the duration of the lecture and thus ensuring that I stay distracted enough not to gain one.single.thing.
I am actually able to look upon my neighbours in the cafe or in class and because I have no one with me actually notice things about them- a bag Ive seen in the shops, a book they have which Ive read that prompts me to smile and say "Hi, my name is Erenma you're in my Human Rights class, right...." even though they aren't a friend of a friend and no, certainly not from Nigeria.